A week ago my mum had a stroke.... She's one of the healthiest people I know and eats well and exercises. Turns out she has a hole in her heart and the hole allowed a blood clot to pass through one side of the heart to the other and then up into her brain. A genetic trait passed down unknown to her. I had prepared for this mentally with grandparents. I had thought that caring for my parents would be years down the road. Just goes to show that we're not guaranteed anything regarding life and health. But the fact that she's alive also shows that God is in complete control and that “The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” Proverbs 16:9 ESV.
I have a lot of thoughts and have been trying to process this week and the changes in our lives. I have so much to be thankful for...that Mum is still alive! That she has all her mental capacity. That she's improving!! We've seen relationships restored, had opportunities to share about God and have seen the number of lives Mum has touched. I'm so thankful that the doctor thinks she will regain her speech. And I'm hopeful she'll get some mobility back.
I know that God has a purpose and a reason... ““I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of yours can be thwarted.” Job 42:2 ESV. I know that He is using this for our good (including Mum's) and His glory (Romans 8:28).
But, that does not mean this is easy. It does not mean that my mum is doing great. It doesn't mean I'm always encouraged. Yes, we see progress. From Sunday. But I also remember last week when she was helping my kids jump in the waves of the ocean. When she was leading Bible study and expressing her thoughts with ease. It's so hard to see her in pain, frustrated with thoughts trapped in her head. With frustration that she can't move her arm and leg. Yes, she's doing so much better than Monday. But she's not doing well physically. This is hard. She has an amazing attitude and heart and joy in the midst of this suffering. It truly is suffering. Seeing Mum like this makes me yearn for heaven when “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”” Revelation 21:4 ESV.
Again, I am thankful for so much. I'm hopeful for what is to come. I'm so glad that my mum can still be a part of our lives! I'm thankful that she can lift me up in prayer as before. But this is life changing for her, for all of us. I know most of my posts are positive and hopeful. I want you to know that this is so hard. We see some good that is coming out of this so far! And we praise God for it. But we also cry out and lean on God for strength when we feel overwhelmed at the magnitude of how hurt Mum is, at how long this road is going to be. Thank God for this truth: “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 ESV. Please pray for God's name to be made great in the midst of our struggles and hardship.
Finally, it's been overwhelming (in a good way) to see all the support and prayers from friends all over the world. It's been incredible to see how many people Mum has pointed to Christ and encouraged. I'm copying texts and emails and Facebook messages into a book for her to have. I think it will really encourage her in this walk. Thank you for everything. For food, childcare, shoulders to cry on, sweet messages, tips and advice and most especially for praying.
Much love,
Hannah
